Inevitable Cycle
by shadowgrl
Summary: Petunia thinks about change and how it can't be escaped.


I do not own Harry Potter or Petunia Dursley. They are JKR's; I am simply pondering.

Tomorrow was the day. It was Harry's eleventh birthday. July 31. The day she had been dreading for the past eight years.

Tomorrow Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived, would get his letter and off he would go to Hogwarts. That terrible school which took her sister away and that which killed her.

That terrible, horrible, wonderful place which had introduced Lily to her husband James and was directly responsible for Petunia's own life.

Ironic how she who had not been born with magic had been so affected by it and that she still continued to be. Petunia had long ago accepted she would never be free of magic despite possessing none herself.

When her nephew was eight years old and crying in terror that she would throw him out because Dudley had told him he was a freak and that his mum didn't like freaks and would love to get rid of him she had swatted Dudley across his bum and sent him to his room. That day and long into the night she had explained to Harry exactly who and what his parents were, why Dudley only came to visit four times a year, why she kept him after his parents died and most importantly what he was and what would happen on his eleventh birthday.

From that day on things had been...easier.

The nervousness she felt around Harry had disappeared almost overnight and she accepted it was because she had told Harry the truth. Always before his questions had brought up memories of that horrid period that started the day she found Harry on her front porch and ended with Vernon and Dudley driving away from the courthouse after the judge pronounced their divorce final and irrevocable.

Vernon had known of her sister and her husband. He also knew that any child they had was more than likely just like them. When Harry had appeared he had been dumbstruck but it didn't take long for him to fly out of control.

Exactly thirty-three minutes actually from the time they had brought Harry in to the time he had woken up, seen the two unfamiliar faces hovering over him, started screaming, woke Dudley up and promptly levitated his sleeping basket under the table where he could hide from the two big yelling people.

Vernon had laid down an ultimatum but Petunia had already activated the wards by bringing Harry in and they were unable to physically remove Harry. He was bound to Petunia now.

Convenient that the notation telling them that was buried at the bottom of the letter Harry held which, of course, any normal person wouldn't have read until bringing him inside thus activating the wards.

And though she hadn't told Vernon, she had immediately fallen in love with the sweet faced tyke sleeping so soundly. And when he opened his eyes and those green orbs blinked up at her…well, she was caught then and there.

Petunia had hated Lily. But she had loved her more and regretted her actions. Being so stubborn though-an Evans trait-she had never told Lily that. She knew full well how to contact her sister if she really needed to…she had a specially charmed mirror Lily had begged her to keep. But she had assumed she would have time to tell Lily. When she had seen that baby on her doorstep she knew her sister was dead and she was out of time.

But her sister's son needed her and she would show her love through him. She would have taken Harry in even if the warning had been in big block letters on her immaculate front lawn.

It had cost her husband and her son and it had taken years for her to get over it but she had. In the divorce she had lost custody of Dudley. Vernon had fought for him saying he had the job and the money to take care of him and while he would pay Petunia support he would not pay for Harry and he didn't want Dudley to be around Harry whose parents were good-for-nothings.

However she had retained the house on Privet Dr. and Vernon was true to his word and paid support. He even paid for her to go to school part time so she could get a degree and work to support Harry. She knew Vernon loved her but he couldn't love Harry and she couldn't live with someone who wouldn't accept her sister's child.

She saw Dudley four times a year for long weekends and he tried to make Harry's life miserable when he was here. Harry never said a word but she knew her nephew and knew when he was afraid.

Dudley had been better behaved after she swatted him-which had incurred her Vernon's wrath-but she always had to keep a careful watch over him. He was a spoilt little boy and she was quite horrified really at the way Vernon and his sister Marge were raising him. She had a feeling if he wasn't her son she wouldn't be inclined to even like him let alone love him.

Petunia shivered a little. It was almost time. Harry was sound asleep in his bed. He had gone to bed clutching onto pictures of Lily. Petunia had no pictures of James and even the ones she had of Lily were of her as a child before the letter had arrived and stolen her sister from her.

He was scared he wouldn't get a letter; scared that he wasn't good enough, that he couldn't live up to his parents memories.

She was scared he would get a letter; scared that he would have to go off into the magical world and get himself killed like her sister had.

She knew Harry's fears were groundless whereas hers were based in reality. Harry would get a letter and he would go to Hogwarts. It was inevitable. Like the stars above her twinkling in the night while she trembled down below. Like the fact that in a few hours the sun would rise. Like the fact that her watch had just clicked from 11:59 to 12:00 and it was now July 31st.

Like the owl winging its way towards her in the night.

Tomorrow Harry would come downstairs wondering if his letter had arrived; wondering if he was good enough.

Silently Petunia took the letter from the owl and went inside.

Refusing to even look at it she placed the envelope at Harry's place on the kitchen table.

Petunia went upstairs to bed.

Change was inevitable.


End file.
